Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Blog 8
My two biggest issues were my thesis was a little weak and grammar. My thesis was not strong enough and I need to make it more clear for the reader to understand. I would fix this problem by adding more information. The grammar issues i had were mostly periods and capitalization. I will fix this problem by reading my paper again. I need to finish my paper by adding half of a page to make it complete.
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These are good observations. What I'd like to see more of is concrete evidence of both issues. For example, for the thesis, tell me how you wrote it originally, and then show me what a new, revised, better thesis would look like. .7/1
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